Sidney Williams
In the Apostle Paul’s letter to the Church at Ephesus he provides his reasons for becoming a willful prisoner for Christ. His chief reason was his inner most desire to experience the radical hospitality of Jesus the Christ and realized that he would have to make significant personal sacrifices. It was not enough to simply preach to his fellow Jews about the resurrection and promise of eternal life. Instead, the Apostle Paul was convinced that through the power of the Holy Spirit that the cultural, economic and ethnic differences would cease being barriers for Christian unity.
For those of us who have lived most of our lives outside of the walls, it is easy to speak of radical hospitality and how we want the walls of injustice to come tumbling down so that we might have access to what we perceive to be a better life. However, seldom does one hear the cry from within the walls of privilege to tear down the walls. Yet, this is exactly what the Apostle Paul was crying out for. Instead of relying on citizenship status and formal education, the Apostle Paul writes these words to the church at Philippi:
“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
After the passing of my mother in February 2007, I also wanted to experience this radical hospitality that Christ Jesus took hold of for me. Like many people who bought into the American dream I was trapped within the walls of economic achievement and could not navigate a way over the walls without the fear of being homeless or becoming utterly dependent on God. Yes, I remembered that Jesus told those who followed him that he had neither a fox hole nor a bird’s nest and yet, he promised to supply all of our needs according to his riches and glory. I was faced with a dilemma. On the one hand, everything that I had prayed for was keeping me alive, and on the other hand, I had come to realize that what I had obtained and all of the goals that I was diligently working on were keeping me from what God wanted for my life. For whom was I living?
I wanted to live for Christ, but I had to consider my wife and four children. How would I provide for them if I let go of everything? It occurred to me that maybe I really wasn’t getting any closer to the end goal and that just maybe I was traveling in the wrong direction. I began to think about the many aspects of my life that I had put on hold with the expectation that at some point in the future I would be able to catch up. I made the assumption that time was on my side, but my mother’s untimely death made me realize that tomorrow is not promised. If I was going to live for Christ, then I had to do it immediately. Surely, God was fully aware of my family and God would not only supply my needs, but I learned to trust God for my family. My children were His children and my wife was chosen by God to complete me. Therefore, I came to the conclusion that putting God on hold was only denying God’s good and perfect will for my life.
Surrendering to God is like turning yourself in after resisting arrest. There is a fear of greater punishment and long suffering. I thought to myself that surely God will have to teach me a lesson for making Him wait. I wanted to assure God that I was available to serve those in greatest need. I wanted to tear down the walls of economic achievement that had previously separated me from the poor. I confessed that I had helped to build these walls and I was ashamed. I thought about the money I spent to distance myself from the stigma of poverty – my home, my clothes, my cars, my education, etc. There was nothing wrong with the things I purchased, but I realized my purpose for buying them did not glorify God. The money I spent was stolen from God and spent on material things that could have been used to bless the poor. I was guilty of not tithing.
Like the Apostle Paul, I realized that the Missionary Journey was critical to my ministry. It would not be enough to simply visit foreign countries. I would have to go and live among the people and become a servant. The mistake I made was going and thinking somehow I should be rewarded for my sacrifice. A prisoner is not rewarded for turning himself in. It is only after time served, that the prisoner is eligible for a reward or parole. Like Cain after the confession of the murder of his brother, there is an indelible mark left on your soul when you fully surrender to God’s will. In fact, the act of surrendering is more like Jacob’s struggle with the Angel. When the darkness fades and God provides a light unto your footpath, you will never walk the same again. The lessons learned last you a life time!
The chief lesson learned is that it is not the service God wants, but rather the humility. Too many Christians consider themselves to have already obtained what they are striving for in Christ or have already arrived at their goal. There is a level of spiritual arrogance that assumes that because God has answered our prayer requests that somehow we have earned a coveted relationship with the creator, but I have learned that God desires a coveted relationship with those who seek to do His will. During my time in Cape Town, I realized that I was there to observe what God was doing and not for God to observe what I was doing. I was humbled by the faith and hope of believers who had so much less than me. How could they praise God so fervently when it appeared that God was completely ignoring them?
Another great lesson learned was how we use culture, economic and ethnic differences to define and limit who we worship with. Rather than the focus on the radical hospitality of Christ Jesus, there is a greater focus on who should be kept out. Nowhere is this more pronounced than in Africa, where cultural identity is critical to the very existence of one’s being. More specifically, in South Africa there are 11 official languages and English is the common language spoken in Government. Nevertheless, people much prefer to experience worship in their mother tongue, alienating foreigners and fellow citizens who are unable to understand the language. As a foreigner, living outside of the walls, it was easy to speak of radical hospitality and how I wanted the walls of cultural alienation to come tumbling down, but I was convicted about how little we do in America to embrace foreigners and fellow citizens in the worship experience.
Finally, I learned to balance my requests with God’s will for me. While living in Cape Town, I witnessed so many who tirelessly called on God to help them in times of trouble, but there seemed to be no response from God. On the surface it appeared that many had faith without hope, but upon further investigation I discovered what it means to be content with what God has already done and accepting of God’s divine will. Rather than chasing the dream and avoiding a complete surrender to God’s will, we must surrender to God’s divine authority even when it seems like a denial. I am reminded of Joseph who spent time in the pit and in the prison. I can imagine that at times it seemed like the dream was not to become a reality, but I am a living witness that dreams that are divinely inspired shall become a present reality.
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